are you so shy because you have an std?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
