It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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