Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
