you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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