dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
