Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
