if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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