dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My ATM looks so different sober.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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