Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
