Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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