Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
This girl is more easily done than said...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
