wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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