I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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