My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
