yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
