brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize