If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
