if you like me you must not know who I am
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
