If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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