hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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