One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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