oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
