I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
