so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
