Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
