i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
