I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
