i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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