Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
