Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
