I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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