I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
