Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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