btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
