He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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