I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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