john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
