You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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