i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
