And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize