Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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