it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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