Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
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