is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
