no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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