She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize