what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
