have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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