I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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