Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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