If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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