you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize