Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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