I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
