Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
