whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Randomize
