We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
