my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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