She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
