I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
